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Dreaming of Paradise

Choices

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do
So long as you do something.
My teachers often told me
“Every choice is deliberate,
Even the choice to not choose.”
Doing nothing is
In this sense still doing something
As such, it is better
To do something,
Anything,
Than it is to do nothing

And to do nothing deliberately.

Fucking Spider

I recall the
disembodied, tobacco cobwebs.
The spider who wove them
spilled out of a glass bowl
while her ashen ass spun out
more and more and more.

I think she was high.
There were pain killers
and a tall bottle of vodka nearby.
She must have been high.

Soon the cobwebs merged together
more like wisps.
There were fewer pills on the table.
The wisps were like a mist.
The bottle was nearly empty.
A fog settled over the room.

The pills were gone
the vodka missing
and we were lost in the spider’s fog.

Sometimes it feels like
I’m still there.
Like I’m wandering lost and lonely
in a tobacco London Fog.
Sometimes I wish I was still there.

Then I recall my shame.
Not that I had been there.
Everyone, for the most part,
has been there.
No, my shame is that when I had a chance to leave,
I wanted to leave that fucking spider
Behind
And then nearly did.

Devotion: Our Father

Scripture: Our Father, who is Heaven ~Matthew 6:9

Theological Thought: Referring to the God of Israel as “Father” marks a shift in the way in which Jews were being asked to, not only communicate with their God, but to think of Him as well.  Previous titles such as The Lord my Healer and The Lord my Deliverer, brought with them a combination of reverence and power.  Calling upon God as “The Lord my Father,” makes power an assumed quality (what child does not believe their father is powerful?) and puts the intimate, family relationship between Creator and creation at the fore. Continue reading “Devotion: Our Father”

A Love Affair with Truth

The Lady and I.

We used to talk.
We used to talk for hours.
We’d talk about what was happening
What had happened
How perceptions changed.

The Lady and I

We would sit on marble steps
At the foot of immovable monuments
Or on ancient stones
At the feet of impossible mountains.
We’d sit in the quiet halls
Of accumulated humanity
And marvel at what we saw.

The Lady and I

But like Old Blue Eyes said,
That lady’s a tramp.
I don’t’ care that she speaks
To other guys
I don’t care if she’s dancing
One way or another
With some others
I don’t care.

But the lady is a tramp

Because she lies.
She doesn’t say the same thing
To any two people anymore
She swears up and down
That I’m the one
That he’s the one
That she’s the one.
And all of us think the others
Are trash
Because we know the Lady
Is a Lady.

But the lady is a tramp.

Which makes me wonder
If this “Lady” I’m talking to
Is really the real thing
Or just another fake
Masquerading in the lady’s face.

It makes you wonder
If the lady is a tramp
Whatever happened to the real deal?

I broke up with her of course.
Now we see each other
Across crowded rooms,
In old photographs
And half forgotten songs.

The Lady and I

I don’t think I ever really knew her
But I don’t think that will stop me
From looking
For the old flame that was

The lady and I.

Devotion: forgive us our debts

Scripture: and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. ~Matthew 6:12

Theological Thought: The literary structure of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) suggests a sort of map that can lead us to holiness and the Father, in much the same way that Boticelli’s map of hell leads the viewer to the bottomless pit.  In the Lord’s prayer, if we start at the beginning we see where we want to end: with holiness.  The steps to holiness then (in reverse order) are obedience, acceptance, and forgiveness while the final passage (“Lead us not into temptation”) represents the place where we begin, and to where we are constantly drawn.  As such, from our fallen place, the first step to holiness is forgiveness. Continue reading “Devotion: forgive us our debts”

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