There are a lot of reasons to not choose christianity but this one is just dumb. Now I’m not saying that there is no possibility of the undead walking the earth, after all I’m all about how the existence of the supernatural is in fact a natural and ordinary occurrence. HOWEVER, Jesus was not a zombie. Did he rise from the dead? Yes, but the differences end there. I’m sick of hearing this one so let’s put it rest alright? Here are four reasons why Jesus was not a zombie.

1) He spoke intelligently. Every instance of zombies occurs in such a way that the brain matter deteriorates and prevents the undead from speaking in any way that resembles intelligent speech. There are historical records and 500 people who were willing to die for the testimony that Jesus said the things he said. Eg Luke 24:25-31

2) No record exists of Jesus becoming violent after rising from the dead. All accounts of zombie infestation include violent behavior of the zombies which is not seen in any account of Jesus rising from the dead. Even if you say that the fall of the spirit on Pentecost (Acts 2) is actually symbolic of the spread of the undead, the violent pursuit and the visitation of violence on prospective converts is notably absent. The exception to violent zombies is of course in the case of Voodoo where zombies are slaves, but even then, there is no suggestion of any kind of necromancy around Jesus. Scripture specifically denounces and abhors that particular practice (Deut 18:10-12).

3) There is no suggestion that Jesus was decaying after his rise from the dead. Once a zombie is raised it is generally accepted that the body continues to decompose and generally fall apart. The scent of death and the grave follow the undead, and this is the kind of thing that is generally hard to miss. Jesus is recorded as bearing the wounds of his crucifixion (John 20:27) but tradition, accepted doctrine and biblical accounts all suggest that Jesus was MORE glorious in his risen body than he was prior to his death. Rather than have an inferior body, he was glorified in a more perfect body.

4) Jesus is not “undead” but alive. Luke 24:5 tells us that the angels who greeted the woman who came to the tomb on the morning of the resurrection said “why do you look for the living among the dead.” LIFE. The key word here is LIFE not death. Jesus conquers death and is alive, not merely an animated corpse.

Characteristics for zombies were taken from The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.