You know that feeling you get when you KNOW it’s a God thing? I mean we could be talking about almost anything here from the way that check for just the right amount of money came in unexpectedly to just the right song coming on the radio at just the right time.
For me that feeling is a cold chill running through my body for no apparent reason. Or I’m suddenly flushed and my heart is beating so hard I feel like it’s going to explode out of my chest. Kinda like the line from Moby Dick, “had his chest been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it.” Only instead of hatred and revenge fueling the passion, it’s the love and grace of an amazing God.
There was one night at a leadership meeting for church when I really felt it. I mean I felt the manifest presence of God in a way that kinda terrified me and it took a concentrated act of will to keep myself from shaking to little pieces.
The whole thing started when we were talking about putting together a youth ministry. I thought to myself, “I could do that. But I don’t want to just jump into things. I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble doing that. So Jesus, if you’re listening, and I suppose you are, let me know if I’m supposed to volunteer to head this thing up.”
Almost immediately I started shaking. So after the meeting I volunteer to take it on, thinking that it was a sign I should do it. Then on the way home I have to ask my wife to pull the car over so I can throw up in the bushes. Apperantly the spaghetti didn’t agree with me. As much fun as I’ve had with the youth lately, I’ve always kind of joked about it saying “well I’m either here because God wants me here or because the spaghetti didn’t settle well. We’re not sure which.” And though it was a joke, it was also kind of serious. I WASN’T sure that’s where I was supposed to be for the long haul, and even now I’m not sure what “long haul” means.
But I do know that for the first time since I’ve decided to become a fool for Christ, that I’m settled. I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
It was definitely God that night – but I admit the possibility that He may have used the spaghetti to get my attention. 😉