Whenever someone dies, well meaning Christians seem to come out of the woodwork to try and comfort those who are left behind.  This is a good thing.  When someone is hurt and broken and weary in their soul I would hope that Christians would show up to comfort the afflicted.

Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.

Today, I remember the day that Jesus died.  I wasn’t there but I wish I had been.  I wish I could have been there to comfort Him in his pain and suffering even if there wasn’t anything I could actually have done.  I wish I had been there to thank Him for everything He had done until that point.  Would it have made a difference at all?  No not in the least.  Can I thank Him for what He’s done in my present circumstance? Of course I can.

But when you lose someone you love, you don’t want to tell their spirit everything that was unsaid between you. You want to tell that person.  And you can’t.

You want to see that person with your waking eyes, touch them one more time, hold them again.  You want to say “I love you” or “I’m sorry” just one more time and you can’t.

And even though I know He’s risen and alive; I know that I’ll see him in the flesh one day and get to kneel at His feet and say all the things I wish I could say now; I know all this but it just isn’t the same.

Because today I’m on this side of the river and He’s up on the cross.  A few feet might as well be a million miles.

But the time will come when the groom is taken away…they will fast in that day.

And He was taken away.  And while I might hear his voice, or sense his spirit, it just isn’t quite the same.  I’ll take and love it and desire ever more of it because it’s all I have, but what I wouldn’t give to touch the hem of his robe.  To kiss his hand.  I long and ache for it and for Him, and yet his desire for me I know is greater.

He erased the certificate of debt [against me]…and nailed it to the cross.

For God so loved the world he gave his only begotten son that anyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

So today I mourn.  I mourn that it was necessary for the love of a lifetime to hurt so much for my sake.