Out of curiosity, what is it in your life makes you think God doesn’t love you?
I read the story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah (Genesis 29-30, today’s OT reading in the Tapestry App) and it occurs to me that you have essentially three miserable people fighting to prove who is more beloved of God. What blows my mind even more is that Jacob so often serves as the stand in for God. It’s as if his favor and love for Leah or Rachel or his ability to grant them children, is indicative of God’s love for them.
Now that’s really beside the point because they all have the source of their own misery and discomfort. Leah is depressed because Jacob doesn’t love her, Rachel is depressed because she can’t have children, then Leah is depressed because Rachel can have children while Rachel is depressed because Leah had more children than her.
I can only imagine Jacob sitting in the field saying “Did I do something to deserve two quarrelsome wives that grant me no peace?”
But just because Jacob didn’t love Leah, did that mean she had no love or favor from God? Did he mean to punish her by placing her in a loveless marriage? Just because Rachel couldn’t bear children at first and had fewer children than Leah does that mean God had turned His back on her?
If you answered “yes” then you and I need to talk one on one.
The simple and hateful truth of it is that on some level we are all convinced that God doesn’t love us….or maybe that’s just me but I’m pretty sure everyone feels this way on some level. Maybe it’s a question of deserving and performance, or maybe it’s a question of circumstance, but I want to ask everyone to join me today in recognizing it for the lie that it is. Because it is a lie. In the midst of all their hateful and depressing circumstances, both Rachel and Leah had children. They were both loved by Jacob though clearly Rachel was his favorite, and Jacob had the joy of all his children. It wasn’t perfect for anyone, but we managed to screw up perfection 27 chapters earlier so let’s take what joy we can from what we do have.
How about it? What makes you think that God doesn’t love you?