There is one relationship that I have that I am extremely dissatisfied with.  It is a relationship I refuse to give up to the LORD, and it is one that I am physically and mentally incapable of stepping away from.  While it can be toxic at times, there are moments of reprieve that are either quiet or possibly even loving.  But overall I can honestly say that it is not a healthy relationship.

It is my relationship to myself.

It may sound strange at first but think about it.  How do you see and rate yourself?  What does your internal dialogue sound like?  For my part, I’m often cynical, sarcastic, and caustic in the way I address myself.  As I mentioned yesterday, I am my own greatest resource.  So my relationship to myself is vitally important.

If I had a team of people working for me, I wouldn’t treat a single one of them, the way I treat myself.  I might be hard, I might push, I might set high standards but I would put the sarcasm away where it belongs.  If I wouldn’t treat anyone else like that, why would I do it to myself?

If God loves me, and I know He does, then why do I find it so difficult to love myself?  I can love God, I can love my neighbor, I can love people who have hurt me, let me down or ignored me; so why the difficulty in appreciating myself?

The “why” is less important than the “what next” in this case.  What can I (or anyone else who suffers from a degrading internal voice) do when confronted?

Hear a different voice.

When that inner voice starts beating me down, I need to go listen to a different voice.  It isn’t easy, I don’t even notice when I’m beating myself down half the time.  But I need to step away from myself and seek God.  It doesn’t matter how I find His voice, or how I hear it, I just need Him to step in where I am.  Ways that could work.

  • Read Scripture
  • Pray
  • Talk to a good Christian friend of counselor (about ANYTHING)
  • Read a good Christian blog (31DBBB has some good ones)
  • Turn on some Christian music.

These work for me….most of the time.  I’d be a liar if I said it worked every time or that it wasn’t a struggle for me still.  How about you?  When is it hardest to step away from this voice?  What do you do that helps?